So today I'm doing a different kind of post as much as I like doing posts on make up and stuff sometimes I see my blog as my personal 'diary' something to look back on in years to come and just an outlet to get stuff off my chest etc, and it's now nearly 5 months since the worse day of my life -
My amazing Dad passed away very suddenly 2 days before he was due home from Hospital, and the past 5 months have been the worst of my life I have never known pain like this and I have cried more tears in these past few months than I have in my enitre life.
My Dad was my hero IS my hero, the nicest,funniest,kindest man you could ever wish to meet he put everyone before himself and went out of his way to help others. He was life and soul of a party getting everyone on the dance floor, cracking jokes, doing stupid 'Dad ' dances at weddings ha, and making everyone howl with laughter constantly his sense of humour was second to none his whole face lit up when he smiled and even now I can still hear him belly laugh whilst watching The Big Bang Theory which in turn would make me howl with laughter and we'd both be sitting there laughing non stop.
Everyone said he was larger than life which he was and he will always be my hero, all I know is that life was a much better place with my Dad in it.
Mum was saying to me the other day ' I'm so proud with how you are coping,Dad would be so proud of you' which really touched me, but if i'm honest I'm just taking it a day at a time I mean there are songs which I can't listin to at the min as it's just too hard, and I try not to think about Dad not being here too much because when I do the pain is too much I feel like i'm suffocating because the thought of never seeing my Dad ever again shatters my heart all over again, and the thought that one day when I get married I won't have my Dad walking me down the aisle is heart breaking.
One of the things I had spent SO many years worrying about and dreading happened to me on that day in March and it changed my whole world forever my Hero was gone :( and my heart shattered and I didn't know how I could ever carry on without my Dad, but then as my Dad always used to say
' Everything will be just fine, stop worrying and start smiling'
So for my Dad thats what I've been doing, he always promised me everything would be fine and to enjoy life, so thats what i'm trying my best to do plus it helps I have the most incredible family support and friends who have been my rock, especially my amazing boyfriend Nathan who has truely been my rock and I know it's been hard on him as he was very close to my Dad.
So Dad I know I will see you again one day, and I will forever love you and Miss you, you were the greatest Father and Friend and I will spend the rest of my life making you proud of me, as my heart bursts with pride when I say you are my Father :)
I Love You Forever And Always xxxxxx