Thursday, 5 May 2011

Who Are You To Tell Me What 'Beautiful' is????

This is a different kind of post today I have been reading so many posts and watching so many videos recently and thought I would give my view on it as well ( for what it worth) I find it really upsetting when people think they are not "cool" if they have not got the most expensive make up or most expensive clothes from what the 'magazines' say are now "in" now yes it is nice to have some nice make up or nice clothes but not everyone can afford them and at end of the day Rimmel make up does excatly the same as Nars and Mac and I personally as much as I love Benefit I sometimes moan at myself for spending £26 on a blusher or something but I hold my hands up and admit from time to time I will treat myself and why not? I work hard. There a girl I work with who to put it nicely is a bitch a i mean a bitch she is that kind of girl who you would hate in school, she looks down her nose at everyone, me and some other girls were chatting about Benefit make up and her response was ' eeww well I spent £250 on Nars and Chanel make up at the weekend I bet you didn't' I felt like saying well sorry love but I have better things to spend £250 on than make up but it just makes my blood boil in the society we live in people feel under pressure to have all the high end products and clothing when at end of the day there really is no need everyone is the same so why should we make others feel bad? I personally would never ever judge anyone on what make up products they use, I mean jeez hpw petty can you be?

Also I am getting moer and more worried that magazines now days will high light the fact a 'celebrity' has put on a few pounds or they will advertise the latest 'get thin quick' diet and then show pictures of these models and celebrities which have so obviously been airbrushed to hell but making them look completely perfect which yanno no1 is perfect not even Elle Mcpherson sure her body is mind blowingly stunning but there isn't a quick fix she works hard to maintain it, I just feel that magazines now day are setting a wrong example to kids growing up, I know my cousin girl is now turning 15 and she has such a poor attiude towards food because she fears putting the pounds on will make her ugly and fat when she is the most prettiest girl and I just feel that is wrong, I grew up with my wonderful parents who never made me feel bad for having the odd treat and never said 'oh my god' no you can have pudding, but I also ate my veg and everything. I then got into a relationship which was as i can only describe as soul destroying as you all know you put a few pounds on when in a new relationship which I had done, and was already feeling a bit eurgh but then he turned nasty and when we would go out would say 'why can't you look like her' or 'maybe don't eat dinner tonight, then you can be thin and people will like you more' I remember one time I was eating pudding and he whipped my plate away and said 'enoguh you are fat enough you fat pig'

I can remember it clear as day it was first time I did actually sob my heart out and litreally hated myself i was 18 and a size 12 which is not fat but I must of gone 6/7 months with no chocolate touching my mouth or sweets nothing I thought that would make me love me more, but then it was always something else.
Untill I finally left him and met my Nath who well is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me, I had no self confidence when we met none what soever and he knew why so on our first date I popped to the loo came back and there was a apple crumble and custard waiting for me and he said we are not leaving until you eat it, which seems little but meant so much to me and I will be first to admit I will NEVER ever be skinny I have a bum and boobs and thighs and I used to HATE that but now because of Nathan I am okay with that now I mean everyday he will tell me I am beautiful even in the morning with no make up on and hair all over the place and I won't believe him but it does make me feel better knowing I have someone who loves me for me and I can wear just my trackie bottoms and tatty t-shirt and still be so comfertable around him, and now I do go to the gym but NOT because people have told me to but because I want to but I will never deny myself sweets or chocolate whats the point? Only going to make myself miserable, I know that some people may think 'oh my god she's a size 14 sometimes a 16' and eating sweets the fat cow. But you know what so what? I don't care. If you are only going to judge people on the way look and not for who they are then you are the one not worth knowing. I know I am never going to be stick thin and I am always going to have big boobs and a bum and sometimes may rely on a pair of Bridget Jones panties to hold my tummy in a bit lol but I am now able to say 'you know what I am ok with that' Because that is just how I am, I am never going to have tiny boobs or a tiny bum and there nothing I can do to change that so why should I make myself miserable it?

I worry about evrything and everyone even if I don;t know them lol, thats just the way I am and I don't people growing up thinking I am not pretty if i'm not stick thin or I'm not cool if not upto date with everything, that makes me so sad to think kids and people may feel like that. Because at the end of the day NONE of that matters all what matters is that you are happy and have a good soul. If you have a good soul then you are the most beautiful person in the world in my eyes. As they say ' beauty comes from within'
So if you haveever felt like that, please don't and go and have a slice of cake :)

Sorry for the ramble just wanted to get it of my chest.



  1. You´re absolutely right, hun. The fashion industry is and has been for the past few decades pressuring girls and women of all ages into something they naturally are not. However, it´s partially the attitudes of these women that let them get influenced so much. Meaning if everyone´s attitude was as healthy as yours, there would be no problems with eg. eating disorders. The only goal girls should go towards shoudln´t be weight loss, being able to buy expensive clothes/makeup but simply being able to accept themselves the way they are. But I´ve gotta say that is muuuuuch easier said than done as. I, for example, haven´t really come to terms with my body yet and I have days when I feel totally crappy about my thighs and if I didn´t have to, I wouldn´t even leave the house. The truth is, my fiance is helping a lot as well and my self-confidence and self-estemm have improved quite a bit since I met him. However, I don´t think I´ll ever be 100% happy as I´m a terrible perfectionist:)
    Thanks for your post!x

  2. I'm the same as you hun, you always look in the mirror and think omg there is something I want to change or 'my thighs are huge today'but we lucky we got good partners who help and at end of the day, it doesn't matter one bit all what matters is that u r happy and healthy xx

  3. Great post hun, very heartfelt xxx

  4. Exactly. I used to worry about how I look way too much and ended up losing 15kgs in like 2months and I got into so much trouble that it took over 2 years to properly recover. I never want to be this stupid again. I´d rather have a big bum than remorse for every single piece of chocolate I eat.

  5. great post i am with you the fashion indusrty making girls feel bad about how they look.

  6. Your amazing and are beautiful inside and out.
    I cant believe your previous partner could say that, he's an idiot and your a great role model xxx

  7. Great post. I think a lot of people will agree that truely beautiful people are genuinely warm and lovely. And I'm so pleased you've managed to overcome some of your demons.

    I don't think the fashion industry is trying to make people feel bad about themselves though, I think that is people projecting their lack of confidence onto what the magazine is actually saying. I know people have had a go at my blog for promoting fashion values but I've never ever suggested people lose weight or buy certain makeup or clothes and I'd never dream of that because I know realy fashion is about being yourself and loving yourself. The images I show are "inspiration" and I love it when people can see the inspiration and then, if they want to, go and get a cheaper highstreet copy.

    Great post xxx

  8. Girls can be so bitchy,I can't stand people like that and I wouldn't be surprised if she was lying as attention seekers often do.

    That's awful about your ex atleast your well clear of him now :)

  9. Thank you everyone for lovely comments, @ Mandi yep girls can be so bitchy feel quite sad for her that she has to rub it in ppls faces and like u said would not be suprised if she is lying.
    @ Lauren oh I agree it is people with low self esteem which it will effect more, btw i think ur blog is fab.
    @ Thedreamsofanizzyinabigwildworld:) Aww thank you so much that really means a lot to me thank u xx
    Thanks Hannah xx

  10. Such an emotive post. I agree wholeheartedly. In Victorian times, girls like us would be the catch of the town with our fine curvy figures - thin is just a fashion trend, not the gospel of what beauty looks like.

  11. Couldn't agree more Sarah xx

  12. Great post Hayley - I'm doing a mini-series of posts next week all about body confidence; and, whilst i'm not going to harp on about make-up, I'll be going on about how I went from being a blonde (ahem!) to a red-head; along with trying love my body along with celebrities & their bodies (and why mags should leave Photoshop alone!)

    Curves are in, skinny's out! :)

    Julia x

  13. Cool I will look forward to reading them Julie and thank you :) xx And yes mags should leave photo shop alone xx

  14. this post is just so lovely. a lot of it rang true for me, and i've recently re-joined the gym, for me, i want to be fit, but i've realised that we are who we are, i love my big bum, and i'm always gutted when my boobs start to reduce when i lose weight! i'm so glad that you have posted this, and i'm glad that you have your confidence back, and well done to nathan for helping you get there :) i hope you've had a lovely weekend xx

  15. Thank u Nadine, yeah I go to the gym because I want to be fit and healthy and yes pisses me off when my boobs reduce when lose weight lol xx