Also I am getting moer and more worried that magazines now days will high light the fact a 'celebrity' has put on a few pounds or they will advertise the latest 'get thin quick' diet and then show pictures of these models and celebrities which have so obviously been airbrushed to hell but making them look completely perfect which yanno no1 is perfect not even Elle Mcpherson sure her body is mind blowingly stunning but there isn't a quick fix she works hard to maintain it, I just feel that magazines now day are setting a wrong example to kids growing up, I know my cousin girl is now turning 15 and she has such a poor attiude towards food because she fears putting the pounds on will make her ugly and fat when she is the most prettiest girl and I just feel that is wrong, I grew up with my wonderful parents who never made me feel bad for having the odd treat and never said 'oh my god' no you can have pudding, but I also ate my veg and everything. I then got into a relationship which was as i can only describe as soul destroying as you all know you put a few pounds on when in a new relationship which I had done, and was already feeling a bit eurgh but then he turned nasty and when we would go out would say 'why can't you look like her' or 'maybe don't eat dinner tonight, then you can be thin and people will like you more' I remember one time I was eating pudding and he whipped my plate away and said 'enoguh you are fat enough you fat pig'
Untill I finally left him and met my Nath who well is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me, I had no self confidence when we met none what soever and he knew why so on our first date I popped to the loo came back and there was a apple crumble and custard waiting for me and he said we are not leaving until you eat it, which seems little but meant so much to me and I will be first to admit I will NEVER ever be skinny I have a bum and boobs and thighs and I used to HATE that but now because of Nathan I am okay with that now I mean everyday he will tell me I am beautiful even in the morning with no make up on and hair all over the place and I won't believe him but it does make me feel better knowing I have someone who loves me for me and I can wear just my trackie bottoms and tatty t-shirt and still be so comfertable around him, and now I do go to the gym but NOT because people have told me to but because I want to but I will never deny myself sweets or chocolate whats the point? Only going to make myself miserable, I know that some people may think 'oh my god she's a size 14 sometimes a 16' and eating sweets the fat cow. But you know what so what? I don't care. If you are only going to judge people on the way look and not for who they are then you are the one not worth knowing. I know I am never going to be stick thin and I am always going to have big boobs and a bum and sometimes may rely on a pair of Bridget Jones panties to hold my tummy in a bit lol but I am now able to say 'you know what I am ok with that' Because that is just how I am, I am never going to have tiny boobs or a tiny bum and there nothing I can do to change that so why should I make myself miserable it?
I worry about evrything and everyone even if I don;t know them lol, thats just the way I am and I don't people growing up thinking I am not pretty if i'm not stick thin or I'm not cool if not upto date with everything, that makes me so sad to think kids and people may feel like that. Because at the end of the day NONE of that matters all what matters is that you are happy and have a good soul. If you have a good soul then you are the most beautiful person in the world in my eyes. As they say ' beauty comes from within'
So if you haveever felt like that, please don't and go and have a slice of cake :)
Sorry for the ramble just wanted to get it of my chest.